Hope

Will you write on me?
A piece of paper crinkled
With incomplete verses
And all over wrinkled..

How long will you try to solve
the jigsaw of broken shards?
Did you notice some are missing?
And some are charred..

Don’t you fear that you might
Never have me as whole?
Will you find that piece
That maybe someone stole ?

I have seen people carve
human figures from stones
Do you plan on being a stone-smith
And sculpt me to my bones?

Will you pick up the threads
And unknot the tangles
Slowly beginning from
the end that dangles?

Will you write on me?
A piece of paper crinkled
With incomplete verses
And all over wrinkled?

Hope is a hopeful word
A bit too optimistic
They say I am naive
I say I am a mystic..

10 Lessons I learnt At National Himalayan Trekking Expedition

I have been longing to write this article since June 11.. Although a bit late, and probably too long to be read by sane people (C’mmon prove your insanity! ;) ) ,I finally made up my mind to sit down and recollect all that I have learnt during this amazing trip of mine..

• As soon as I reached the base camp, I came to know that we were 66 in all, called ‘SP32’. Gradually I realized how during the whole trek this new name would become a whole new identity for me. From one camp to another, wherever we went, we were referred to as ‘SP32’. Group identity mattered more than individual identity.

Lesson No. 1: I learnt how a group name can bind together different people coming from different regions speaking different languages and carrying different attitudes.

• The first few days which we spent at the base camp (Kasol) were the easiest part of the whole trek but they were the ones when we all geared up for our BIG ascent. We learnt one of the most important lessons of our lives: “Discipline”. Waking up on hearing the sharp sound of a whistle wasn’t easy. What was more difficult for me was to somehow gather courage to take a bath when the water was freezing cold and rendered the whole body numb. No wonder after the first 2 days, I switched to simply washing my face and hands just like others. “3..2..1.. Go” That was my everyday countdown before splashing the ice-cold water all over my face. Breakfast, Morning exercise, Acclimatization walk, Lunch, Dinner, campfire.. from everything to everything was scheduled. No one was allowed to be late and here is where I learnt the next lesson.

Lesson No. 2: I learnt how being punctual and disciplined can make things easier and wonderful as opposed to making them burdensome.

• As we headed towards our next camp from our base camp, we were asked to carry in our rucksacks only the necessary stuff.. rather the crucial stuff. As they said “ Even a needle seems heavy when you walk on the mountains” . And so, our load was supposed to be as light as possible. Allow me to flaunt a little bit of philosophy here..

Lesson No. 3: Shed off the unnecessary load you carry in your mind. A lighter mind can make the journey of life more pleasant.

• As we moved up, there were steep climbs, really steep ones. But what surrounded these climbs were beautiful valleys, rocketing trees, smiling flowers and chirping birds. The scenic views kept us going.

Lesson No.4: I learnt that nature possesses a mysterious power which can make fatigue disappear.

• With each passing day the climb became laborious, the climate became severe and the camps became rudimentary lacking even the basic facilities..Surprisingly the graph of our enjoyment kept on increasing exponentially.. Each difficulty we faced together, each hindrance we crossed together brought us closer as a group. The camp fires started becoming more interesting as we learnt more and more about each other.

Lesson No.5: It is at the time of adversity that perfect strangers can become perfect friends.

• During the trek, a lot of us staggered, stumbled and slipped but there were angels all around to lend us helping hands to keep us from falling. Whether one walked with the speed of a horse or the pace of an ant there was always a gentle and entertaining company around. But there were problems too..In spite of the fact that I considered my immune system robust enough to help me get through any condition, I faced a lot of problems including loss of appetite and sleep at the same time. At Nagaru (one of the most dreaded camps) I was even warned that I would not be allowed to move forward and could be sent back to base camp if I did not get well by the next day. I almost broke down.. But my angel friends were there to take care of me, support me and to help me revive myself within a day.

Lesson No. 6: You are not afraid to fall if you know you have someone to fall back on.

• Girls’ tent rocked! There was not a single moment I remember when I found myself getting bored. There was always something interesting happening in or around the tent. As an observer I saw in every girl an innocent child, a loving sister, a passionate lover, a caring mother and a reliable friend. What was new was to be confronted with the crazy deranged maniac avatar of a girl!!

Lesson No. 7: Fourteen girls in a tent= (craziness)x14= Insanity at its best! = TENT ON FIRE!!

• Each camp had its own memories and so did each path. Rest points were the most awaited spots. Here is where we opened our weirdly stuffed lunchpacks and ate heartily while having conversations about the most idiotic subjects we would have ever thought of talking about. And then there were the most admired Maggi wale uncles and aunties! Sharing Maggi inside a shaky plastic tent when its hailing outside, can be real fun!

Lesson No..8: Maggi tastes best at 13000 ft ;) and so does Bournvita ;)

• As we neared completion we wanted to hold on to every single memory. We didn’t want the camp fire to end at our last camp. And as we headed back to the base camp we wanted to treasure every bond that we had made there. People were thanked, apologies were expressed and together we moved on to Manikaran, a place synonymous to HOT WATER! Finally we could take a plunge in the warm waters of Manikaran and relieve ourselves of all the fatigue, exhaustion, aches and ofcourse germs!

And as soon as our great bath was over, we realized..a lot of things were over..

Lesson No. 9 : All good things come to an end….But there’s always more waiting ahead..

• Finally we were back to Kasol. Everything looked just the same. The rocks, the trees, the tents, the breakfast, the lunch, the ice cold water and the LED lit campfire! Email ids, Phone no.s and fb ids were exchanged. We received our certificates, said final Goodbyes and made our way back to places where our cells would always remain charged, where our pockets would always carry wallets, where 10 kms would be a short distance to be covered on a bike, moped or car and where the world would be on our laps just a click away..

Lesson No. 10: You can pause for a while but life resumes… :)

Swarming Thoughts..

Thoughts rush in like a swarm of bees,

stinging every part of my brain!

it pains, it aches, it itches like hell,

it makes me go insane!!

I go berserk in frenzy

I try to shoo them away

but they make a point, loud and clear,

that they are here to stay!

they prick all over mercilessly,

their needles, deep down my brain,

no matter how much i shake my head,

It's always done in vain..

i fight but i finally concede,

to overpowering cluster of thoughts

I pull and twist and twirl my hair,

until they are in knots..

I give up d battle, and lose myself

to the perennial stream in mind,

Like a still corpse i lie in bed,

a bed which has always been kind..

Kind enough to be an escape

from feelings grim and wild,

Kind enough to hug me tight,

when i feel like a lost child..

Numb to core, inside and out

i accept the hysterical phase,

as it passes gradually,

the fog lifts off my face... 

It lies..in the eyes..

There are times when u r grieved,

and you do not want to show,

you stick a forced smile and then,

just hope those thoughts would go...

But when your lips smile,

your heart still cries...

you think u can betray your woes,

but those traitor eyes...

Those two, your best friends at times,

become your worst enemies,

when tears roll out unthoughtfully,

and you want them to cease...

You want to sit aloof,

and calm the storm inside..

but everytime those watery eyes,

are there to raise a tide...

Whenever you are trapped,

in the tornado of tears,

Just close your eyes and let them run,

and sweep away your fears...

Cry to celebrate sorrow,

like you laugh to celebrate joy...

Life is a roller coaster ride,

when you go down, you must enjoy!!

Coz ups come only after downs,

the essence lies in the ecstacy,

the shouts, the cries, the truths, the lies...

And the whole emotional sea...

So when your eyes are filled with tears,

Welcome them with a smile,

You'll see, the'll not bore you for long..

Just take care of them for a while..

Prayer..

She closed her eyes to celebrate the silence...
These moments were rare,
'Dear God', she whispered,
and made a little prayer

"Let me not be swayed away
by thoughts that flow forever,
Let me stand stiff and straight
in winds of harsh weather

let me make some sense of the
world that lives around me
let me know the secrets of the
facts that astound me

let me feel the interface
between dream and reality,
let me play between the two,
and prove their vitality

let me keep true faith in you
and believe in your existence
let me see the rights and wrongs
and let me see the difference

let me see there is a wall

though it is transparent
and the world beyond it is imaginary
though that is not apparent

let me be independent of thought
and make ideal decisions
let me know my need in world
so i realize my missions"

'Thank you God' she said at last, and bowed down her head..
I hope he will pay heed to, whatever she said...

Emptiness..

Just sitting there, as if lifeless,
She wonders in her room,
No thoughts pass by her mind,
All lost in vacuum...

She sometimes asks herself-
"Am I hollow??"
"What's that stuck in my throat ,
that I can't swallow?"

She probes into her life and what does she find?
Some big voids, which seem small,
She gets some cement, some plaster too,
She needs to fill them all!!!

I wish you didn't surrender..

You run , u try to escape,
so hard u try, in vain :(
as soon as u look back,
u find them again...

You try to hide somewhere,
behind the broken fence,
but they look straight at u,
U've got no defense..

You run to save ur life,
u run real fast ..
with doubts in ur mind
"For how long will u last ?"

You get in side a tunnel,
so dark u lose ur way
a hand holds ur hand and walks
till u c the first ray...

As soon as u see light,
their thoughts creep in ur mind,
u start running again,
and leave the hand behind.

You pant! You puff!
its such a bad weather,
u turn around and c them
grinning at u together..

You are tired,
u sit down
they all surround u..
there's nothing u can do now,
just look around u...

You are beaten, u break
unheard go all ur cries..
they shatter ur existence,
tears drain ur eyes..

I wish u never ran,
i wish u stood still,
i wish u fought with them
against ur will !

I wish u never left
the hand that was so tender
it would have led u right
i wish u didn't surrender...